Parental Responsibility

One of the most unacknowledged truths about guilt is that a sense of guilt has no connection to whether or not someone has actually done something wrong.  Nevertheless, many people feel guilt over things that they do not even think are immoral at some point in their lives.  In light of this, it is not particularly surprising that parents of children who commit some surprising or extreme action sometimes feel as if they are somehow at fault for the behavior of their son or daughter (if the act is legitimately wrong), even when they realize their child is the one in error.

Some parents even experience deep guilt over the behaviors of their children when they fully recognize that they cannot possibly be responsible for the choices made by other people.  Unfortunately, there are some who truly believe that parents are responsible for particular acts of their children, as if telling a child to behave in a certain way inevitably motivates the child in question to do so!  Only a fool thinks that one autonomous being could ultimately be responsible for the misdeeds of another being with an autonomous will of its own.

If a parent makes no effort to point their child in the right direction, have they failed as a parent?  Of course.  This responsibility in no way means that they can be legitimately blamed for another person's decisions, however.  Even a parent who completely neglects his or her duties cannot rightly be said to be volitionally responsible for whatever course of action their child chose to pursue, whether positive or negative.  It is particularly ironic when Christians, who should readily point to both the metaphysical existence of free will and the Bible's affirmation of it, act as if a child's behavior says anything about the moral character of the parents!

It should take no one longer than several moments to reason out the distinction between one person and another, and only slightly longer to grasp the fact that one person's moral responsibility and will are distinct from those of another person.  Not even perfect parenting can force a child's will.  A parent's encouragement for their children to pursue rationality is never actually guaranteed to have a personal impact on their sons or daughters.  While parents are responsible for urging their children to live for matters of intellectual and moral substance, the very nature of individual freedom means that children alone are responsible for actually forming their worldviews and living accordingly.