One of the most controversial truths about both Christianity and sexuality is the fact that use of erotic media, alone or with a partner, is a Biblically legitimate means by which people can satisfy desires they may have for sexually appreciating someone other than their spouses without engaging in adulterous behaviors (or thoughts) or indulging in polyamory. A person can certainly use erotic literature, videos, or images to celebrate his or her sexuality without promoting any of the specific sexual acts that the Bible prohibits [1]. So, too, can a given person's spouse.
It is asinine for a person to expect their spouse--or significant other--to never experience sexual feelings towards anyone else of the opposite gender (unless their spouse is asexual), much less to treat such extramarital sexual attraction as if it is betrayal or enjoyment of such attraction as if it is worthy of outrage. Instead of discouraging their partners' use of morally permissible erotic media as if it is sinful or inherently damaging to their relationship, Christian spouses need to recognize that there is much that some individuals can gain from consuming such material.
Rather than demonize all sexual material, a rationalistic Christian should be able to easily see that such material provides people with the chance to sexually explore themselves (and their spouses) while enjoying a variety of stimulation that even a lifetime of intimate sexual expression with one person could never offer. Even passionate monogamy will not satisfy the nonsinful sexual curiosities of every husband or wife. What many Christians fail to realize is that nothing about this is treated as shameful or morally erroneous by the Bible (Deuteronomy 4:2).
It is one thing to dislike erotic media or to prefer to forgo using it, but it is another thing to refuse to admit that there is nothing adulterous, objectifying, or degrading about erotica on its own. It is also a completely different matter to deny the value of Biblically permissible erotic media's for sexual self-exploration and even marital fulfillment. Married men and women do not sin by using erotic media on their own, nor do they sin by inviting their spouses to join them in using it, sexually appreciating the bodies of other members of the opposite gender together.
The use of erotic media with one's spouse can celebrate freedom from legalistic anxieties and the Biblical fact that God is not opposed to sexual pleasure in itself. Furthermore, couples can find deeper intimacy in the openness and honesty that might be fostered by sharing the scope of their sexualities with each other without regret. Sexual feelings are not always directed towards a person's spouse, and God does not condemn those who acknowledge or accept this.
[1]. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/12/the-truth-about-erotic-media-part-2_19.html
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