Complementing One's Spouse In An Egalitarian Manner

The phrases "gender roles" and "marriage roles" have long been treated as interchangeable.  As even the language used in each phrase suggests, however, the two classifications for roles are not synonymous.  The ideology of gender roles entails sexist stereotypes that harm both genders very thoroughly, while the phrase marriage roles refers to roles within a specific marriage.  In other words, the latter is not rooted in assumptions about men and women.  There is still a complementary aspect to marriage roles, but this does not mean what complementarians think!

Spouses can still complement each other in a wholly egalitarian way: without stereotypes of sexism directed at either husbands or wives.  In fact, husbands and wives complement each other one way or another.  Each half of a couple can exercise their own talents and pull from their own experiences in order to benefit the lives of both members.  No thoughtful egalitarian would deny this, but to affirm this is not a complementarian admission, as some conservatives might pretend.  It is an individualistic one.

Because skills and personality traits are factors dictated by individuality or one's environment, some husbands will be better suited to certain "roles," and some wives will be better suited to certain "roles" in their marriages.  The vital clarification is that these roles, whether they are mutually agreed upon for the long term or remain flexible, do not have anything to do with the husband being a man or the wife being a woman.  They are unique to each respective person, rather than being logical or Biblical necessities rooted in gender.

Rather, the abilities of each partner and the circumstances each couple finds themselves in dictate who is most qualified to have a given "role"--that is, if spouses are even interested in having roles within their marriage in the first place.  There is no need for one spouse to claim a role unless it is a mutual decision based upon genuine competency or necessity in specific areas.  Either way, marriage roles are not gender roles.  They are individualistic roles within a particular marriage.