When Women Pursue Men

For all the progress of gender egalitarianism in America, it still is not equally common for men and women to feel the same pressure or permission to romantically pursue someone of the opposite gender.  Men are still widely and unfairly expected to initiate in this regard without regard for the personalities of individual men and women.  In some cases, women might be viewed as too assertive for simply asking men on dates, even though the same perception would not apply if the genders were reversed.  Despite its lingering controversy, encouraging women to take the initiative with dating offers is part of the liberation of women from sexist traditions.

Women are not the only ones that benefit when females are socially permitted and encouraged to initiate dating requests, of course (all sexism towards one gender has some sort of negative impact on the other).  Men, who need to be liberated from numerous examples of sexism directed towards them as well, are then able to experience the pleasure and sense of desirability that can come with being pursued.  Not only can this role be just as fulfilling to men as it is to some women, but it also helps confirm to them that a relationship is genuinely mutual in that they see actual expressions of interest from their partners.

Popular fallacies promoted in the name of psychology hold that women enjoy feeling pursued and that men enjoy engaging in the process of pursuing.  However, both logical analysis and social experiences refute this, and the former can be used to refute this idea even wholly independent of the latter.  Men can prefer to be romantically or sexually pursued by women; women can prefer to be romantic and sexual initiators.  It is logically obvious that someone of either gender could feel more comfortable in either role in their romantic relationships.

There is even a fairly popular Biblical story where a woman takes the initiative with developing a relationship with a man to the point of marriage: the story of Ruth and Boaz.  Ruth goes so far as to visit Boaz at night while he sleeps and uncover his feet, a ritual that is treated in Ruth 3 as an indicator of willingness to marry.  Here, as it does in other areas of life, the Bible does not oppress men and women with needless gender-based restrictions that do not fit their personalities and giftings.

When women pursue men romantically and sexually, both genders are allowed to flourish in deeper, broader ways without the artificial confinement of social constructs.  There is nothing unnatural about either women taking the role of initiator or men taking a more passive role in dating, for gender roles are constructs of the ignorant to begin with.  Women may now finally be able to act as romantic initiators without the same degree of backlash, but egalitarianism has not been put into practice to the point where it is perceived to be equally likely for men and women to initiate dating and marital activities.