I've addressed many aspects of opposite gender friendships on my blog already--including how it is asinine to say that such friendships are logically impossible [1], how they are not sinful [2], how Paul the apostle had at least one close female friend [3], and how affection for a significant other and a friend of the opposite gender are not locked in a zero sum game [4]. There is another aspect of these friendships that I want to emphasize: a person who rejects and avoids opposite gender friendships is a person who either does not believe in gender equality or who does not consistently live out a recognition of gender equality. I do not see this point made with enough force or frequency.
If someone consistently refuses to befriend people of other races, to be alone with them, or to express affection towards them, out of fear or suspicion, then charges of racism towards this person are entirely legitimate. In intentionally avoiding cross-race friendships by default, he or she is systematically discriminating against people of other races. This person is racist on the level of action, at least, whether or not the person truly embraces racism in the mind. Even if the person claims that all races are metaphysically equal in value, his or her actions reveal either an unwillingness to live out that truth or that he or she does not truly believe in equality of value.
It is likewise true that if someone is sexist if he or she actively refuses to befriend people of the opposite gender simply because they are of the opposite gender. Whatever someone's alleged basis for doing so is, he or she cannot live as if men and women are equal. I am not saying that people without cross-race friendships are racist or that people without cross-gender friendships are sexist, but that avoiding these friendships simply because they involve people of other races or the other gender is racist or sexist, and therefore utterly contrary to Christianity.
Friendship is one of the greatest tools that Christians can use to help heal male-female relationships from the damaging errors churchgoers and the secular world sometimes teach. It has the power to reconcile, to transform, and to liberate. Relational intimacy can be, by far, one of the most potent aspects of human life. To intentionally oppose friendship between men and women is to oppose one of the greatest expressions of commitment to gender equality, which is plainly taught in the Bible, starting in the very first chapter.
Someone could see from my actions, without ever speaking to me, that I am not fearful of intimacy with women. The church at large will never consistently, Biblically stand for gender equality until it has peace about Christian brothers and sisters becoming and acting like friends. One of the greatest arenas for the display of egalitarianism is friendship.
Logic, people. It is helpful.
[1]. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/01/an-observation-about-cross-gender.html
[2]. See here:
A. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2016/08/opposite-gender-friendships-part-1.html
B. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2016/09/opposite-gender-friendships-part-2.html
[3]. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/11/persis-pauls-dear-friend.html
[4]. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2018/01/sacred-unions-sacred-passions-part-1.html
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