Persis: Paul's "Dear Friend"

Those in the church who oppose deep friendships between men and women will find reason to be frustrated with the Apostle Paul.  As he himself mentions in the book of Romans, he shared a close, fulfilling friendship with a woman.  I doubt this is often acknowledged by anti-cross-gender friendship legalists!

According to Romans 16:12, Paul enjoyed a deep relationship with this woman!  Her name was Persis.  One does not need to puzzle over perceived difficulty with identifying the gender of Persis due to the foreign name, as Paul directly calls her "my dear friend Persis, another woman who has worked very hard in the Lord".  Persis was a woman and a close friend of Paul.  Not only does the Bible never condemn such friendships, as they are not sinful at all (Deuteronomy 4:2, Romans 7:7, 1 John 3:4), but it provides an example of them by specifically mentioning this detail of Paul's life.  The language he uses, "dear friend", signifies that this relationship was not one of casual acquaintances; it was a deep friendship founded on their mutual Christian lifestyles.

In Romans 16 Paul praises and expresses affection for multiple other women, in addition to Persis--Phoebe, Tryphena, Tryphosa, etc.  Paul was no sexist, legalistic person.  He clearly affirmed cross-gender friendship!  He did not oppose women working alongside men in evangelism and spiritual activities.  This is but one of multiple indicators of his egalitarian worldview [1].

Someone who opposes cross-gender friendship is inevitably irrational, insecure, sexist, legalistic, or all of these things at once.  I have elsewhere written at length about the utter stupidity of opposition to cross-gender friendship, whether between singles or separately married people or singles and married people [2], about how the possible development of sexual attraction does not actually destroy such friendships by necessity [3], and about how cross-gender friendship can strongly protect against sexual immorality [4].  I only recently discovered that Paul enjoyed a deep friendship with a woman, but it does not surprise me at all!  There is nothing questionable or illicit about God's followers engaging in activities that are not sinful.


[1].  Paul clearly teaches egalitarian things about marriage and sexuality (1 Corinthians 7:3-5), as well a mutual submission of all believers to each other, irrespective of gender (Ephesians 5:21).

[2].  See here:
A.  https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2016/08/opposite-gender-friendships-part-1.html
B.  https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2016/09/opposite-gender-friendships-part-2.html
C.  https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/01/an-observation-about-cross-gender.html

[3].  https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/04/attraction-in-cross-gender-friendship.html

[4].  https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/09/cross-gender-friendship-protection-from.html