The Strength Of Vulnerability

Emotional vulnerability might be very frightening for some.  To put oneself in a situation where one is vulnerable is to put oneself in a place where one may be emotionally rejected or harmed.  It may make some uncomfortable to either be vulnerable or be exposed to the vulnerability of others, and, in some cases, it may be perceived as a mark of weakness.  Yet, vulnerability, far from being an indicator of weakness, can require an immense emotional and psychological strength, especially for those who have previously shared their hearts with others and been hurt as a result.

Whether because of past experience or natural personality, it can be very difficult for some people to open up, while it might be much easier for others.  But it is not easy for everyone to share their souls.  When others do share them, sometimes all they need or want is an attentive listener or someone who will not trample on what they are willing to expose.  The mere thought of being trampled upon could be terrifying for some.

And yet it remains true that vulnerability is necessary for relationships to become anything more than casual.  Marriages, dating relationships, and friendships--and our relationships with God--can never reach substantial depth without a willingness to open up.  I am not a telepath, and thus I very often need to communicate with others using spoken or written language.  In order for other non-telepathic beings to know and understand me personally I must share myself with them, and this inevitably involves vulnerability.  For me and another person to mutually bond, we must be willing to be honest with each other, and with ourselves--and this means that one or both parties might be misunderstood or emotionally harmed in the process.

All deep knowledge of other people cannot come about apart from vulnerability.  There is not a close relationship I have ever been in that did not at some point involve me telling the other person something about myself, not knowing how he or she would treat or perceive me because of it.  And I know that I have found this to be incredibly rewarding in the handful of intimate relationships I have cultivated.  A sense of relational peace and oneness has resulted.

Christians in particular need to see the strength of vulnerability, recognizing it as the potent thing it is, a thing that can move people and paradoxically empower them.  It is vulnerability that enables the greatest relational intimacy, whether the relationship is one between spouses, friends, or dating partners.  This fact must be remembered as we cherish existing relationships and seek to forge new ones.