Authentic Intimacy

Like affection and devotion, interpersonal intimacy does not have to be outwardly fierce or "loud" to be present.  It involves deep familiarity or closeness, which is not the same as the perhaps illusory impression that it is present.  Calmness between two people does not logically entail lack of intimacy, and kind behaviors do not guarantee it has been found.  In spite of the specific relevance of what I have said and will say to romantic partnerships of one kind or another, these truths pertain to all relationships in which one party seeks closeness with another.  They are relevant to relationships between friends, siblings, children and their parents, and so on.  There is no single context in which someone might deeply crave intimacy, and the truth about intimacy remains the same by logical necessity.

Among the truths about the subject is that intimacy has to be mutually arrived at and maintained in order to be as genuine, full, and lasting as possible.  Relational connection is shallow without familiarity, attachment, or openness, yes.  Pushing for intimacy against the wishes or comfort of another person is counterproductive all the same.  What one person wants is always a matter of their objective worldview, whether it is correct or incorrect, and their subjective personality.  Unfortunately, this allows for situations where one person is ready for intimacy or existentially longs for it and the recipient of their interest does not share the same readiness.

You can encourage it in your words and deeds or go as far as to desperately plead for it, yet attempting to force intimacy is in truth one of the best ways to thwart it.  Regardless of the difference between intimacy and the perception that it is there (remember the impossibility of a non-omniscient/telepathic being actually knowing the thoughts of other minds), the most holistic and willing kind of closeness cannot be forced or rushed.  Otherwise, it is not authentic or as complete as humanly possible; perhaps someone feels like selectively caving in to demands for closeness for the sake of surface-level stability, while keeping some parts of themselves private in an effort to find individualistic respite.

A welcome, voluntary intimacy that spans the various aspects of a person's life is the only sort both holistic and genuine, yes.  Pressuring someone for intimacy in an unrelenting sense is the process of artificially and/or forcefully trying to heighten a connection with a reluctant person, which can delay deep closeness or set in motion relational factors that entirely prevent it from ever coming about.  If one person is withholding a part of themself from another, to the extent that they do so, there is indeed a lack of potential intimacy, but trying to obtain a resolution by imposing one's wishes cannot make the other party reciprocate.  In fact, this by default makes it more difficult for them to do so since a lack of either investment or openness was already the problem; now the problem has added complexities.

When the push is one-sided and constant, the receiving party would subjectively feel or objectively be smothered in a way that constrains, annoys, or frightens them.  The other party is after all pursuing intimacy in a somewhat unwanted, aggressive, or coercive manner.  At some point, the former might start to pull away, the exact opposite of the impact intended by the latter.  It is rather paradoxical that the desire for intimacy can be so strong that it spurs someone on to overwhelm the very person they want to meet them with mutual interest.  Trying to force intimacy can never in itself establish a closer connection between two people, as much as this might pain those who have their hearts set on what can only truly happen without coercion.