Diverse Intimacy In Marriage

Intimacy in marriage is frequently used to describe the sexual aspects of the relationship.  Marriages can lack intimacy, however, just as intimacy can be found in purely nonromantic friendships between people of either gender.  There are also many more possible dimensions to intimacy that can be experienced by couples across the full duration of their time together.  Since intimacy is a genuine closeness of the mind or body, anything that fosters this is a mechanism of intimacy, and while sex has its place in uniting couples or strengthening their relationships, this one category of closeness has much more to it than intercourse.  Even sex can be done without a connection between partners, and for those who seek such a thing, there are numerous ways to find intimacy in interpersonal expressions of sexuality.

The deed does not have to be penetrative; sexual fondling and oral sex in their different variations can be incredibly potent at stoking or satisfying sexual longings between loving partners, especially since variety might become more and more desired over time for its multitude of ways to produce pleasure and nonverbally communicate attachment, interest, and general psychological intimacy in addition to physical intimacy.  Sexual bonding can be quite strong and is of course at its absolute peak when both partners are rationalistic thinkers who understand their own individuality and, without forsaking reason or violating moral obligations, aim to please each other and in turn receive pleasure from their relational connection and physicality alike.

There are still many ways that marriage partners can enjoy intimacy with each other that do not involve intense sexual behaviors or sexuality at all.  Affectionate glances, gentle, nonsexual caresses, slow kisses or embraces, written or spoken words, and standing or sitting together can convey intimacy just as much as sex and other sexual behaviors can, and there is thus more diversity to how spouses can interact to show commitment and passion than even the full breadth of sexual acts.  Some situations, such as periods of debilitating disease or exhaustion, might call for one form of intimacy, and other situations, such as sensual atmospheres where a husband and wife are full of energy, might call for another.

As far as deeds short of actual sex go, the same is all true for dating partners, who are Biblically free to engage in all kinds of nonsexual and sexual intimacy without having sex unless they are ready to fully commit to each other for life (Exodus 22:16-17)--short of either party engaging in sexual immorality, neglect, abuse, or abandonment (beyond Matthew 19:8-9, see Malachi 3:6 with Exodus 21:10-11 and 1 Corinthians 7:15-16).  Emotional attachment and physical closeness have many manifestations that can bring catharsis, delight, and great joy to a relationship based on rationality, mutuality, and openness.  Along with the nonromantic intimacy of friendship (though strong romantic relationships are friendships as well, the word is often used in platonic contexts), a holistic romantic bond is one of the grandest pleasures in this life.