The Desire To Be Sexually Recognized

A longing to be aesthetically and sexually appreciated, which are very distinct despite how they can overlap, seems to be a common desire in humans, even if the intensity differs from individual to individual.  No, there is no desire that is shared by everyone, or at least there is no desire that is by logical necessity shared by every person, but no matter how much society at large pretends otherwise, this is not something experienced only by women.  It is not even necessarily experienced by all women to begin with.  Indeed, though the desire to be physically beautiful or sexually attractive is often ignored or trivialized in men, it is a human experience.  There are neither gender-specific personality traits nor gender-specific moral obligations; Christians who are rationalists should be the first to realize and celebrate these truths.  It is not particularly difficult to discover them as long as one is not making assumptions.

Of course, that men are so frequently denied as beings that can relate to these longings is asinine, though it does not mean that women should have this aspect of themselves be ignored as Western culture finally accepts this fact in a more mainstream manner.  To feel desirable on the level of physical beauty, nonsexually or sexually, and to feel sexually attractive is something that many Christians would probably think more about--and find alluring if it was not for the sexist cultural stereotypes (against women and men), legalistic prudery from the church, and concerns over being objectified or victimized that might get in the way.  A culture of rationalistic Christians would be wholly inviting towards all nonsinful sexual acts or intentions (Deuteronomy 4:2), from masturbation to enjoying mere extramarital attraction, in a way that honors Yahweh's approval of sexuality itself.  After all, Yahweh is presented as directly creating human sexuality or permitting it to develop and then calling it very good (Genesis 1:31).  Only a misuse of sexuality would not have God's approval, and there are so many feelings and deeds that the Bible clearly does not condemn which would shock evangelical legalists.

There is certainly so much about reality and life that is nonsexual, and to confuse even deeply sensual things like human nudity for something sexual in itself is extremely irrationalistic.  All the same, sexuality spans not only physicality, but the human mind with all of its spiritual and existential dimensions.  Without thinking that subjectively appreciating something on a sexual level makes it sexual and without letting sexuality become the primary focus of their lives, Christians who truly understand Biblical theology would welcome that many men and women have the longing to be recognized as sexual beings, perceived as sexy by certain members of the opposite gender, and emotionally satisfied with their sex appeal.  They would not pretend like this is the most central or otherwise important part of human existence, but they would not only not fear it or try to sidestep its presence.  They would embrace all nonsinful manifestations of sexuality as something intended by God.

The desire to be aesthetically and sexually appreciated, to be sexually recognized, is not something to be ashamed of, suppressed, or left unverbalized on the Christian worldview.  Physical sexiness is also but one of the many facets of sexuality, which is all the deeper and more philosophically significant because it is not limited to just an action of the body.  Sexuality brings with it a great capacity for a kind of introspection, social interaction, and even aesthetic pleasure that so many people might never even think of exploring if it was not for sexual attraction prompting it.  Instead of focusing only on sexual feelings towards other people, especially for men who are treated as if they have no interest in being appreciated as aesthetically sexy, rational people realize that sexuality's greatest depths have to do with the mind on an introspective level.  Without bodies or bodily activities, sexuality could still exist as a phenomenological thing and would be no less personal.  Without sexual attraction and feelings in general, sexuality would only be a bland or far less philosophically significant thing.  Wanting to be perceived as beautiful does not have to be related to sexuality, although wanting one's body to be perceived as sexually attractive pertains to the mind at least as much as the body.