A few weeks ago I had to read Pride and Prejudice for a college assignment and decided to write out the following points out of concern for the subject matter. Very early on in the book, a character named Charlotte says that "'Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance'" (16), articulating a belief that the book itself criticizes as the story unfolds. Her question-begging claim is not only downright false just by nature of the incorrect logical relationship she presents the concepts as having, but it would prove quite dangerous to the relational health of marriages if spouses actually believed this nonsense. It is entirely possible for spouses to love such other in such a way so that genuine happiness arises--with happiness being a feeling or sense of satisfaction, pleasure, and excitement.
At least two courses of action could lead to a marriage that totally contradicts Charlotte's description: 1) careful selection of a spouse with compatible personality traits and 2) putting intentional, consistent effort into cultivating a pleasant relationship. Rightly administered, these two things could easily produce a marriage relationship with genuine happiness for both partners. Taking such a relationship seriously in a way that incorporates intimacy, intentionality, and mutuality will not result in mere chance controlling satisfaction and fulfillment.
If someone were to disregard these two things then Charlotte's words would certainly be true--but only about a marriage where both spouses do nothing to maintain or improve the relationship. It is not as if there are no calculated steps at all which one could take to at least increase the probability of happiness in marriage. Happiness in a marriage immersed in love of God and in mutuality and in intentionality is not a marriage where happiness will only arise by pure chance.
In a book that contains multiple false or fallacious statements about marriage--such as the one that rich single man "in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife" (3)--Charlotte's comment stands out as obviously false. For the reasons presented above it simply is totally avoidable to have marital happiness only come about by arbitrary chance. And if I become married in the future, I certainly would expect that my wife and I would not decide to just hope blindly that happiness has a place in our relationship, with no measures in place by which we could at least attempt to bring it about!
Pride and Prejudice. Austen, Jane. Ed. Gray, Donald. New York: Norton and Company, 2001. Print.
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