Restorative Sociality

Not all people have equal gravitation to social interaction, and it is not logically impossible for some people to desire little to no social contact of any sort in the first place.  Nevertheless, sociality is, generally speaking, a fundamental part of human life, whether it is regarded as desirable or frustrating.  Indeed, the social aspects of human life are presented as divinely intended by Genesis 2 when God says it is not good for humans to be alone.

Far too often, the church speaks of relational fulfillment as if it must come from marriage, ignoring the fact that friendship is more socially and spiritually foundational than marriage could ever be.  Friendship is the most foundational way that human sociality is displayed.  It is a choice of two people to invest in each other and learn about the other despite having no initial obligation to do so, separating it from biological family, which cannot be chosen, and from transactional relationships, which may rest on promises made beforehand.

Friendships, therefore, are the highest manifestation of the social nature God imbued within humanity (an affectionate marriage is just a friendship with formal commitment and romantic or sexual components, but not all friendships are marriages).  Through friendships, the wounds of abusive or otherwise negative relationships can find their antidote.  Healthy relationships--relationships that are mutually enriching and also mutually wanted--are sometimes the only way to effectively heal from the ravages of damaging relationships.

If God intended for humans to be social beings, it should not be surprising that restorative sociality can help one minimize or forget the pain of relationships that culminated in abandonment, abuse, or apathy.  That is not to say that one cannot overcome the demons of destructive relationships on one's own; some individuals are entirely capable of healing without the presence of others.  Rather, the healing process is likely to be far easier in the context of relationships that bring rejuvenation and empowerment with them.