Legalistic Parenting

"As long as you live in my house, you will do as I say"--perhaps every Christian child has heard such a thing at some point.  This statement is used to deter children from doing everything from using profanity to wearing bikinis to watching whatever movies their parents are subjectively uncomfortable with.  The restrictions themselves are always arbitrary, and many parents who endorse this type of fallacious command would almost never truly be consistent if they saw other parents use it in inverse ways.

What if parents forced their children to use profanity, wear revealing clothing, and view movies with graphic violence?  The phrase "My house, my rules" would probably not be regarded the same way all of the sudden!  The same fathers and mothers who would pretend like they can impose legalistic restrictions on their children in the name of personal preference would almost certainly say that the other parents are in moral error for making their kids do such things in the name of preference!

In both cases, the parents have erred and have actually sinned by violating the command of Deuteronomy 4:2; both kinds of parents have prohibited other people from living as they please where their actions are neither sinful nor obligatory.  This is the exact nature of legalism: the treatment of something amoral or innocent as if it is immoral is inherently legalistic.

The ironic thing about conservative Christian parents is that they often appeal to their own preferences when telling children not to engage in certain activities, when they might condemn other parents for making their own respective children do the opposite.  Legalism is always irrational and Biblically invalid.  However, parents who hold these double standards are hypocrites in addition to be legalists and egoists.

As long as children can handle them with intellectual and spiritual maturity, there is no such thing as a legitimate basis for restricting them from nonsinful activities.  If a thing is not evil, parents have no right to pretend like it is.  It is impossible, after all, to have a right to enforce an unsound or illegitimate rule in the first place.  Evangelical parents tend to only selectively admit this at most, instead acting like they dictate morality in the exact ways they might condemn if they observe someone else doing the same.