The Impossibility Of Lusting After Single People

Several crucial details about the Biblical concept of lust can be determined simply from a logical analysis of the English words in Matthew 5:28.  Since the verse refers to a sin of the mind, it cannot be condemning physiological arousal, to name just one example.  Because the verse condemns looking with lust, it cannot be condemning the mere act of looking at the bodies of people of the opposite gender.  Many legalists overlook even these fairly obvious facts that a reading of the English translations makes plain, but even people who recognize the actual meaning of the Greek word for lust might fail to realize that no one can lust after a single person.

As I have explained before, the Greek word for lust refers to nothing but coveting: wanting to take something, a marital partner in this case, away from another person for one's own.  It follows that the lust referred to in Matthew 5:28 does not even necessarily have a sexual component, since a person can covet another person's spouse in a nonsexual way.  Regardless, sexual feelings for a separately married person are not themselves depraved.  It is only the actual coveting of another person's spouse that the Bible prohibits.  The Biblical condemnation of lust, though, by nature of what lust is, only applies when one person covets a separately married person.

In other words, it is not even possible for someone to lust after a single person, as single people do not maritally belong to anyone else in the first place (or they are not in a committed romantic/sexual relationship).  Thus, there can be no desire to take them away from a life partner for oneself.  Nevertheless, it is still possible for someone to sexually objectify an unmarried person, just as it is possible for a married person to objectify their spouse.  Sexual objectification is, in fact, a worse offense than lust itself, for disregarding all of a person other than a single aspect is inherently degrading, whereas coveting someone else's spouse does not have to involve a near-total neglect of the victim's personhood.

If a woman sees an attractive man and experiences feelings of sexual attraction, even to the point where she fantasizes about his body while self-pleasuring, she has committed no sin, even if the man is married to another woman (it is pathetic that many people who claim to revere the Bible are often in denial about female sexuality [1], considering that the Bible gives clear examples of "female" sexuality being no different from "male" sexuality).  There must be a desire on her part to take him from his current partner for her to be guilty of lust.  Likewise, a man who sees an attractive woman, feels sexual attraction, and sexually fantasizes about her has not sinned, even if the woman is married to another man.

If someone has sexual feelings for a single person, though, it is impossible for lust to be present by default.  Lust is not synonymous with sexual arousal or sexual attraction whether or not they are prompted by a married or single person, and neither of them needs to be fought or resisted on their own.  God did not create human sexuality in order to condemn people for experiencing exactly what he intended.



[1].  https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2018/11/female-sexuality.html