The Difference Between Polyamory And Affairs

Can a person have multiple close friends at the same time?  Anyone who believes otherwise is entirely in error.  Nevertheless, many people who would quickly affirm that having close friendships with multiple people simultaneously does not have to cheapen those friendships are willing to say that having multiple romantic partners simultaneously somehow degrades those relationships.  What is true of one is true of the other, contrary to this common hypocrisy, and thus it follows from the possibility of enjoying multiple deep friendships at once than it is certainly possible to enjoy multiple romantic and marital relationships at once.

There is a fairly widespread belief that polyamory and adultery can be interchangeable words, not because all adultery is polyamorous, but because all polyamory is regarded as adulterous.  Polyamory involves the consent of a person's spouse in the sense that a polyamorous relationship is not conducted behind the back of their spouse, as well as in the sense that adultery by nature involves extramarital sexual behaviors (though this does not include the use of erotic media or sexual flirtation), whereas polyamory can involve plural marriages.  Polyamorous marriages cannot be adulterous because adultery can only occur when a married person has extramarital sex.

There is no genuine betrayal in polyamory, although it is often characterized as if it is, at best, one spouse voluntarily permitting the other party to romantically or sexually betray them.  This misperception is due not to rationalistic or genuinely Biblical ideas (the Bible obviously permits polyamory in itself), but to cultural conditioning and personal jealousy.  The concept of polyamory does not contradict spousal fidelity in any way, for there is nothing about having multiple spouses that means one of them must be neglected, trivialized, or emotionally wounded.

An affair, unlike mere polyamory, is initiated by someone either with the goal of secrecy, lest the person's spouse find out, or against the will of a spouse.  Affairs are inherently adulterous because one party is actively betrayed by the other.  Adultery, by definition, can only be sex that one partner in a committed relationship has with another partner to whom he or she is not committed.  This is the key difference between polyamory and adultery, and it is not difficult to distinguish the two.  Marital commitment to two or more people does nothing to violate or degrade the commitment between the original husband and wife, whereas adultery shows a disregard for stable commitment.

Conservative social forces, both in a religious and generic secular sense, are responsible for cultivating a culture where various nonsinful forms of romantic and sexual expression are arbitrarily considered taboos.  Polyamory is just one of multiple examples of nonsinful romantic/sexual processes or acts that have been demonized by irrational minds.  Certainly, polyamory is not something that every couple desires or would find favorable.  It is still a legitimate, non-adulterous option for people who are so inclined.