What could possibly be the benefit of dating or eventually marrying someone who does not care to understand you as an individual, but instead assumes degrading things about you based upon your gender? This cannot be a relationship where both parties are encouraged to develop and utilize their personal talents. It is only a prison of tradition that shackles people to assumptions. It does nothing to promote the flourishing of individuals within relationships with other individuals. Instead of promoting relational flourishing, complementarianism places fallacious expectations on a couple, ultimately suppressing or denying the individuality of each party.
If race was substituted for gender, many Christians and non-Christians alike would react quite differently to a dating relationship. They would likely discourage a relationship with anyone who wants to limit their partner's career, hobbies, or self-expression on racial grounds. Tell evangelical Christians that blacks and whites are "separate but equal," and they will almost certainly denounce racism as the contra-Biblical abomination that it is. If one says that men and women are "separate but equal," they will pretend as if this is rational, Biblical, and just. Their hypocrisy alone communicates that they are either unaware of their glaring cognitive dissonance or apathetic towards it.
I know from experience how difficult dating can be for egalitarians, as many who identify as Christians are not interested in gender equality, if not outright against it. Egalitarian men and women alike are treated by many evangelicals as if they are ignorant and heretical, when it is complementarians who are such things. It is no easy feat for men to find a Christian woman who, regardless of what she says, does not regard men as sex-crazed beings with massive but fragile egos, who also have an obligation to treat women as if they have greater value than men through various acts of benevolent sexism. Likewise, it is no easy feat for women to find a Christian man who, regardless of what he says, does not regard women as metaphysical inferiors who have the ability to make men sin sexually and who are not permitted to teach both genders in an ecclesial setting. Still, the search for an egalitarian partner can lead to immense happiness.
When an egalitarian does find a suitable partner, it proves thoroughly liberating to live out a relationship that is devoid of tradition and fallacies. An egalitarian relationship is one where each partner is free to embrace their own talents, personalities, and desires without fear that they are violating nonexistent commands of God. In some cases, partners might find that their natural personalities actually compel them to relate in a way similar to the ideas of complementarianism. There is nothing wrong with this--as long as they realize that this arrangement is nothing but the result of their individual natures. Couples like this should not be shunned by other egalitarians, but it must be emphasized that these relationships are legitimate because they were still founded on mutual choice.
Though dating as an egalitarian can be a stressful process, there is always the chance that it will culminate in a relationship marked by the peace that only mutuality can bring. It is never worth it to settle for someone with an inferior intellect, ethical framework, or commitment to truth. If a person will not renounce minor errors, he or she cares more about preference than truth. If a person will not renounce major errors, he or she is delusional. Complementarians usually cling to both minor and major errors, rendering them unsuitable for any Christian who takes reason, consistency, and Scripture seriously.
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