Not Everyone Needs To Have Children

If I told a group of typical American Christians that I do not want to have pets because this could require a great amount of attention, energy, and resource usage, I doubt that anyone would judge this statement to be selfish.  I would hope that no one finds this controversial, despite the fact that far more significant and basic truths are treated as sources of controversy.  If I told a group of American Christians that I do not want to have kids, the reactions might be far more severe.

Though there are many who understand that not everyone desires to be a parent, there are still accusations that are often hurled at people who prefer to never have children from both secular and religious positions.  These accusations, ranging from charges of selfishness to charges of not adhering to Christian morality, can become quite frustrating.  Oftentimes, the person who does not want to have kids is simply being misunderstood and treated harshly out of a baseless, arbitrary sense of outrage.  It is not always the case that the person in question dislikes children or truly is selfish.

There are many reasons why people might not want kids that have nothing to do with any of these charges.  Perhaps some feel unable to adequately care for themselves, and thus do not feel comfortable with caring for children.  Perhaps some are asexual, and thus have no desire to participate in the biological acts that precede childbirth, and also have no desire to adopt.  Furthermore, perhaps some see the turmoil engulfing the world and the existential angst within themselves and cannot convince themselves to bring children into an existence that is often marked by trials.

Christians should be the first to understand these reasons.  Yes, Genesis 1:28 does include a generic command for humans to reproduce, which inescapably involves having children.  This does not change the fact that there is no obligation for any particular couple to have children of their own, since no passage of the Bible demands this, and since both the Old and New Testament condemn adding to God's instructions in Scripture.  No Christian who relies on rationality and exegesis would ever suggest otherwise.  If a couple wishes to have children, they can have them, if other variables allow for it.  If they do not want to have children, there is no reason to pressure them into changing their minds.

I love children.  I can entertain and bond with them very easily.  However, I do not want to have children of my own.  It should not be considered remarkable for a person to acknowledge that the uncertainty and anguish of human life alone should make many aspiring parents pause and reconsider their intentions.  It should not be viewed as anti-Christian to note that there is no obligation for any specific couple to have children.  Likewise, it should not be falsely regarded as selfish if a person simply has no desire to produce offspring.  Not everyone needs to have children, and this should be obvious to many people.