Conflict In Marriage

Does a person have to fight with their friends at some point?  Some might believe that such a thing is inevitable, though they might think that it can be postponed.  And their conclusion would be false.  On any given day, a person could go without any sort of verbal skirmish with any of their friends.  This means that no one has to fight with their friends at all: if each day can pass without incident, then no day has to contain a fight.  The ramifications extend into the realm of relationships other than friendships.

Just as someone can go decades without having any serious relational problems with their most cherished friendships, someone can go decades without ever once entering a verbal fight with their spouse.  Living in close proximity to a person for a prolonged period of time does not mean that the relationship will inevitably have periods of major interpersonal strife.  In fact, such proximity, if accompanied by genuine intimacy, could even lower the probability of strife arising.

Anyone who says that a couple will or must fight at some point is trying to instill an untrue expectation in listeners, however well-meaning they might be.  Of course, a couple might fight, but that is not the same as them having to fight, as if to start a close relationship with a person is to commence a countdown to an inescapable relationship fracture.

Communication, transparency, and mutual benevolence can see to the avoidance of fights.  When people are quick to communicate honestly and lovingly, practically every possible relationship breakdown can be avoided in full.  If two people who love each other do not allow inconveniences to evolve into sources of resentment, and if they openly address problems--or potential problems--as or before they appear, then they can enjoy a healthy relationship that is undeterred by fighting.  When a person is committed to maintaining their marital relationship, it can be incredibly easy to avert every fight that might surface.

No one has to treat their spouse spitefully, hostilely, or belittlingly even once.  That people often pretend like this is impossible does not mean that it is, just that they do not understand that no marital conflict has to escalate to the point of a heated fight.  No one has to hurt or war with those they are closest to.