Flirtatious Friendships

Flirting among opposite gender friends, in the relationships where it does appear, does not diminish the legitimacy of those relationships in any way.  It is asinine to think that all opposite gender friendships will inevitably reach a point where one party flirts with the other (whether or not it even conveys romantic or sexual interest), but as I have refuted the bullshit idea that men and women cannot or should not be friends, whatever their respective marital statuses, multiple times before, I am not focusing on that now.  It's time to explain how actual flirtation is in no way a definite sign that two people want to date, marry, or sleep together.

Some people may enjoy having an element of romantic uncertainty, flirtation, or sexual attraction in a friendship with someone of the opposite gender, though some may not.  The process might serve as a confidence-booster, a manner of bonding, or a type of practice with a willing participant.  As long as both parties are aware of what it does and doesn't mean, it can be entirely self-contained and affect nothing whatsoever about the rest of the friendship.  Why is this so difficult for some people to grasp?

The presence of flirting or even overt sexual attraction in a male-female friendship does not mean that it is not a friendship, or that either party wants it to become more than just a friendship.  To think otherwise is to merely assume.  Defining such a relationship as something other than a friendship commits the no true Scotsman fallacy, arbitrarily redefining something to avoid a certain conclusion.  Of course flirtation and deep, genuine friendship are compatible, even if uncommon!

Flirtation can look very different when conducted by different people.  Since flirting is acting like one is romantically or sexually attracted to someone, the same action might be flirting in the case of one person and not be flirtatious at all in the case of another.  Real attraction of a romantic or sexual kind might not actually be present, as flirting is not necessarily about communicating actual attraction or long-term interest.  It can provide a lighthearted, exciting, pleasurable pastime, and it is certainly not sinful in itself [1].  A mistake made by some is to overemphasize the presence or significance of flirtation when it is present.

Some of the most popular errors regarding the subject are that no men and women who are actual friends would ever flirt with each other and that all men and women who are friends will eventually flirt.  Both beliefs are incorrect.  Friends might never flirt, but flirting may only mean that two friends are just having fun or trying to boost their confidence and nothing more.  If it is present in a relationship, then the intention behind the flirting is determined solely by the one doing it.


[1].  https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/12/the-morality-of-flirting.html