The Nature Of Sexiness

What one person finds sexy another person might not, and many variables could contribute to this--immediate mood, past experiences, natural personality, etc.  Experience can confirm this, and logic can prove it independent of interacting with others.  A person or act is perceived to be sexy if it is sexually attractive or arousing.  And, as I already stated, what people perceive to be sexy is subjective.  But there is something else that might often be overlooked: some things that people might find sexy--indeed, a great deal of them--are objectively nonsexual.

In some cases there is a difference between perception of a thing and the thing itself.  Something might be different than it is perceived to be, and perceptions can vary greatly from person to person.  What are some things people might perceive to be sexy that are not sexual (the only things that are themselves sexual are sexual feelings and activities)?

Sapiosexuals are sexually attracted to intelligence, yet there is nothing sexual about intelligence.  Demisexuals experience sexual attraction to people they are very emotionally close to, yet there is nothing sexual about emotional intimacy.  Likewise, some women might be sexually attracted to male muscularity (and vice versa), although there is nothing sexual about muscularity.  Or some people might find a certain hairstyle or smile sexy, when there is nothing sexual about hair or smiling.  Some men might perceive a specific bikini to be sexy and some women might perceive shirtless men to be sexy, although there is nothing sexual about either bikinis or shirtlessness.

Nonsexual things can arouse people sexually, and sexual things might not arouse people, at all or in a given situation.  A person might not be either mentally or physically aroused by a spouse's sexual beckoning, or by sexual thoughts, or by watching erotic media.  As reason plainly demonstrates, a priori, there is no connection whatsoever between a thing being sexual and someone being sexually aroused by or attracted to it.  Different sexual activities can arouse different people differently, even though each of the acts is objectively sexual in nature.

A sexual activity, like masturbation, might not even be engaged in out of sexual desire, even if the man or woman masturbating is not asexual, as one can engage in a sexual act like masturbation simply because the act physically feels good.  So even sexual things can be done with minimal sexual motivations or without any sexual motivations at all.

So what is the nature of sexiness?  It is impossible for many things that people might perceive to be sexy to actually be sexy in themselves because they are not even sexual in themselves to begin with.  And just because something is sexual in nature does not mean that people will find it sexy.  A thing is either sexual or nonsexual irrespective of perceptions, yet perceptions of sexiness are purely subjective and, as explained, have nothing to do with the actual nature of what is found sexy.


Summary of observations
1. Sexiness has to do with something/someone being sexually attractive or arousing.
2. Perceptions of sexiness are purely subjective.
3. Only sexual feelings and activities are sexual.
4. Something that is not sexual (eg clothing, a situation) cannot be objectively sexy, since a thing that is objectively nonsexual cannot be objectively sexy.
5. People can find nonsexual things sexy, and just because something is sexual doesn't mean it will sexually arouse or excite them.