Dating: Friendship First

As opposed to rushing into a dating relationship, becoming friends with a potential romantic partner before dating can provide opportunities to avert possible difficulties later on.  There are at least two difficulties which might be avoided or softened by this approach to dating.  I am not saying that people have some moral obligation to date exactly according to this method (the Bible does not prescribe this).  Nor am I saying that the things aided by the benefits of this dating approach cannot come about otherwise.  But there are some aspects of it to consider.

What might some of these possible benefits be?  For starters, this method extends the period of time where you could get to know that person without having the dynamics of an actual open romantic attachment interfering.  No, romantic feelings do not intrinsically cloud judgment of someone's character and personality--but people who are more susceptible to this may truly need to take some time to learn about and assess others before actually beginning to date them.  It does not follow from the existence of such feelings that objectivity in judging the person who is the object of those feelings cannot exist.  Obviously, it is entirely possible for someone to make a correct judgment about a person whom he or she harbors romantic attraction towards, yet for the uncertain this strategy might truly aid the process of more clearly getting to know someone's actual nature.  Besides, perhaps during this pre-dating friendship phase a person realizes that the one he or she has/had feelings for really wouldn't make a preferable match.  This gives time for discovery and reflection to occur in a less romantically charged atmosphere.

Also, it might greatly increase the probability of a less awkward relationship if dating someone doesn't work out.  If two people are already friends and attempt dating only to discover that they are not sufficiently romantically attracted to each other or otherwise compatible for that kind of relationship, staying friends and avoiding awkwardness are much more easily ensured.  This approach might really help alleviate or thwart such awkwardness and confusion entirely!  Just this aspect of the "friendship first approach" to dating by itself could easily spare a lot of gratuitous and preventable awkward interactions, as a man and woman who find dating each other isn't optimal could just revert back into the friendship they had before.  Whereas some people panic upon seeing someone they dated (even for a very comparatively short period of time), even going as far as to be eager to be as far away from that person as possible, a couple who takes this approach could still enjoy a post-dating friendship.

So, instead of charging into a dating relationship with a man or woman you are romantically interested in, perhaps get to know that person in a different way first!  You may find something that makes you not wish to date him or her, realize you don't really want to date this person but still want friendship, develop a much stronger foundation from which to launch into dating, save yourself from awkwardness in the future, and have the benefit of entering dating with much more clarity.  This is not an objective moral obligation--but it may prove very helpful indeed.