Hiding The Truth From Others

Sometimes, in desperation, anxiety, or terror, a person might want to hide some secret part of themself or their life from someone they care about very personally.  Whatever the thing is might vary.  It might not actually be something that is as terrible or penetrating as it seems to be in the moments it is appealing to hide it.  The intention is that in sheltering someone from the truth, their life will be easier, and they will perhaps be oblivious to the supposedly dreadful secret that is expected to bring them suffering.

The motivation could be one of affection, a desire to spare someone else from as much pain as they can be shielded from.  Even if the secret coming to light is merely pushed back, delaying its discovery might be preferable to someone over telling it sooner to a person they love.  As preferred as it might be, this can not only be very contrary to rationalism as people act like their desires could ever possibly triumph over the truth, but it only traps their own pain without catharsis and, if the other person ever finds out, could be much more difficult for others if or when they discover the secret.

In hopes of avoiding heartbreak, someone might withhold sharing some struggle or truth that they fear could wreak havoc on their relationships.  However, keeping such secrets could be even more devastating when the truth comes out.  Openness and directness in communication--while communicating logical truths or introspective states that are not misunderstood by the speaker--is the only way to avoid this kind of even more distressing revelation.  Some communication can be painful, but it can avert a far deeper, more lasting pain.

There is nothing irrational in wanting to abate or avoid someone else's pain in this manner.  There is nothing irrational about waiting for the ideal time to spring the information.  As for the idea that hiding the truth will always or probably bring nothing but peace, and an illusionary kind of peace at that, this is both false and destructive.  It is erroneous regardless of its impact on people, and still it is not an error without the potential to poison relationships or lead someone to regret not being fully open and honest the moment they had the urge to keep something to themself.