Nothing from feeling slight sexual attraction to someone of the opposite gender to delighting in self-pleasuring to numerous people of the opposite gender, even while married, is Biblically sinful. Outside of what is ultimately a handful of acts or motivations, everything not condemned by God as contrary to his nature is permissible or perhaps even good (Deuteronomy 4:2). Within a marriage, romantic or sexual attraction to one's partner is ideal. It of course adds additional layers of pleasure and connection to a human relationship that is only matched in its significance by deep friendships with intellectual and spiritual equals. Beyond a marriage, there are still many attractive men and women, though, and it is normal and morally innocent to be attracted to multiple people of the opposite gender and not just one.
As difficult as it is for some people to (supposedly) understand these logical truths or emotionally accept them, to recognize, introspectively dwell on, verbally acknowledge, or even act on these feelings (in very particular ways specified below) is not evil. The Christian objective of marriage is not to not experience or enjoy sexual attraction to other people of the opposite gender outside of the marriage. It is to be committed to a loving, mutual relationship whether or not such attractions develop--and whether or not one acts on them through flirtation or masturbation, which are objectively nonsinful even in this context. Short of abuse, neglect, or infidelity [1], the marital bond is to be for life, and neither husbands nor wives have to suppress the depths of their sexual attractions.
A person who thinks their spouse or dating partner must renounce, ignore, or remain silent about the sensuality or perceived sexiness of other people is a selfish fool. To harbor or even crave either extramarital attraction or acting upon it (through flirtation or masturbation, as aforementioned, not through adultery) does not forsake the partner to whom one is married. It is neither a mental nor physical betrayal. To some people, it might subjectively feel like one, but emotion only dictates and reveals emotion. Nothing else about reality, including logical truths about sexuality and relationships, is made true by anyone's feelings.
Aside from its Biblical permissibility, recognizing and savoring these attractions as nonsinful pleasures that in no way lead to infidelity (the likes of emotionalism, apathy, selfishness, and general irrationalism do) makes relationships flourish all the more. Honesty about these things, both in the sense of absolutely certain self-awareness in the pleasure and in the sense of communication between the partners, allows people to feel safer in being open and sharing more parts of themselves. The marital bond can be celebrated more deeply in ways that are otherwise never enjoyed by prudish or insecure couples. For husbands and wives who do not make assumptions, which includes rejecting all gender stereotypes and slanderous bouts of jealousy, a more holistic, unifying, intense kind of relationship can be had.
To ideologically oppose that which is not irrational or evil is itself irrational regardless of whether moral obligations existed, and if they do, then this is itself evil as well. God made the human body to be the among the most visually enticing, in a platonic or sexual way, parts of his entire physical creation. No husband or wife, no boyfriend or girlfriend, has a right to demand that this not be deeply appreciated by their partner, though it will often be expressed through the sensual or sexual admiration of someone outside of the relationship. The life-giving freedom from legalism and emotionalism does not destroy marriages. Unnecessary secrets and an unwillingness to discover and live in light of reality can easily devastate romantic partnerships of any duration.
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