Developing Romantic Intimacy Over Time

There is no amount of time at which someone automatically knows another person well enough to marry them.  Learning if someone is intellectually and emotionally compatible, even aside from lesser compatibilities involving something like geographical location, is not about some set amount of time, but the sincerity and depth of each person as they reveal their true selves.  The people make all of the difference; imposing some artificial expectation for how long two people must or should talk before transitioning from dating to marriage is a sure way to damn a relationship to superficiality or, ironically, prohibit organic growth.

Two people who have known each other for three months could bond deeply over a shared worldview, intellectual and emotional openness, and their appreciation of each other's willingness to invest time and effort into the relationship.  Within a handful of months, they could know each other better than some people do after decades!  Contrarily, two people who have known each other for two years might not have shared much about themselves, discussed important philosophical issues, or even tried to fully communicate whatever affection they might have for each other.  Any logically possible level of intimacy and multi-faceted connection could be reached quickly or avoided for long periods of time.

At no point is someone intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally ready for marriage just because they have known someone past some arbitrary timeframe.  In actuality, a relatively short period of time is not necessarily too little of an opportunity for two willing and sincere people to deeply connect with each other, either platonically or romantically.  By far the most crucial variables here are the worldviews, personalities, and levels of interest of the people involved in the relationship.  Rationality, authenticity, and mutuality can always make the most of even new friendships or romantic partnerships.  No amount of time will make two shallow or unwilling people actually share themselves to the extent needed to best gauge marital compatibility.

A person who is eager to get married needs to focus on reason (the key to understanding themselves and all other things), understanding themselves, and bonding with a partner on a deep, holistic level.  Focusing on an arbitrary amount of time past which they expect or hope to get married is never conducive to intelligent decisions or truly connecting with someone based on the only criteria that ensure a stable and deeper relationship.  It is asinine that Christians of all people are often willing to rush from dating to marriage for the sake of social expectations as they supposedly support strong marital relationships.  A romantic relationship hurried along for the mere sake of speed is left without a worthy or secure foundation.