Talking About Masturbation

It is quite paradoxical that a society fixated on sexuality to the point of confusing nonsexual things like platonic opposite gender friendships, revealing clothing, and nudity for generally sexual natures has such a collective reluctance to even talk about the act of self-pleasuring openly and honestly.  Rarely is masturbation talked about intellectually or personally in the same way that other sexual activities are.  Even then, other sexual activities are often discussed in very predictable ways that fail to acknowledge the true scope, nature, and importance of sexuality as a philosophical/theological category.  It is easier for non-rationalists to remain silent on the matter, or at least on the more culturally unfavored aspects of it.

Silence is one reason assumptions are made by people too philosophically inept or unfocused to think without prompting.  When those around them remain quiet, assumptions--such as the assumption that men masturbate to every attractive member of the opposite gender they see, that women do not masturbate regularly or to sensual imagery of men, or that asexuals would not wish to masturbate--might be made and then never examined rationalistically.  Sexual repression, confusion, and ignorance tend to follow when silence smothers a truly logical and Biblical analysis of sexuality.

Masturbation is particularly vulnerable to prudery since it does not inherently involve a partner at all.  It does not even have to involve sensual imagery, although this can greatly enhance the experience.  It can therefore be misunderstood as an exclusively private, selfish act that ignores one's partner (if a person is in a dating or marriage relationship) and encourages a hedonistic focus on oneself.  When it is thought of like this, masturbation can be shunned for fallacious reasons beyond basic aversion to sexual expression and openness.  This specific form of prudery is an attack on the Biblical freedom of every person to express their sexuality in such a manner.

Openness about masturbation is therefore a very personal and strategic way to overturn prudery.  Openness about self-pleasuring can even push back against other forms of prudery broader than just that which targets masturbation.  In discussing masturbation as a philosophical and practical issue (not that practicality falls outside the all-encompassing scope of philosophy), one has already taken at least one step towards affirming sexuality as something worthy of contemplation, discussion, and celebration.  The vulnerability or transparency necessary to talk about masturbation in a strictly intellectual or a personal sense is antithetical to both legalism and secular prudery!  However, men and women sometimes face somewhat unique pressures to avoid such openness.

While women in particular are encouraged by sexist norms to think that there is something abnormal about their masturbation as a whole and about masturbating to imagery of men, men are also pressured to not talk about masturbation or masturbating to imagery of women, at least in some cases, simply as a consequence of the West's leftover prudery.  When prudery discourages masturbation and talking about masturbation, the result is often shame around legitimate forms of sexual expression and a hesitation to think about the matter rationalistically.  Men and women alike need to be open about masturbation as a serious subject of philosophical exploration and personal expression.