Stimulating one's genitals to the sight or thought of one's significant other is not only way to pair the act of masturbation with mental imagery or physical stimuli, but it is a specific form of doing so that exempts itself from the already asinine objections to masturbation with imagery that evangelicals think are found in the Bible. No, masturbating to random members of the opposite gender out of sexual attraction or for mere impersonal stimulation is not "lustful," as the Biblical concept of lust is that of coveting what belongs to someone else: lust is nothing more than wishing to take what belongs to others for oneself. No, sexually fantasizing about the bodies of certain members of the opposite gender while masturbating is not "objectifying," as sexual objectification denies or ignores literally all aspects of a person besides their sex appeal. However, masturbating to a dating partner sidesteps some mistaken complaints as it is.
If masturbating to select opposite gender friends [1] or celebrities of the opposite gender (to name just some possibilities) is not sinful, then masturbating to one's own dating partner long before engagement or marriage cannot be sinful either! Neither a steady romantic relationship nor marriage is Biblically required to enjoy the pleasures of masturbating to someone of the opposite gender to whom one is sexually attracted to or to whom one simply wants to use as a facilitator for physical arousal. Outside or inside of a dating or marital relationship, masturbation is nonsinful on its own (Deuteronomy 4:2), and that includes when it is done with the specific purpose of using an attractive person of the opposite gender or someone for whom there are great feelings of affection as an aid for pleasure. The other logical flaws of the opposite idea aside, there cannot be anything lustful about this because the other person is not married to someone else!
Permission from the other party is not necessary for such a thing because there is no violation or sexual degradation in pleasuring oneself to someone of the opposite gender. If this form of masturbation physically or psychologically involved the actual person being masturbated to in their presence as they watched, as opposed to a mental representation of them or a mere image or video, then their consent would be necessary due to the Biblical demand for consent in such sexual activities (the concepts behind Deuteronomy 22:25-27 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 both make consent of both parties a moral prerequisite). However, since masturbating to someone of the opposite gender is not objectifying, degrading, or otherwise sinful, no one needs permission to pleasure themselves to someone they romantically desire.
Premarital sex is not inherently sinful by any means [1], but it is not rational or morally commendable to rush into premarital sex. Thus, masturbating to one's dating partner--even in person together--can be a very useful way to enjoy sexual pleasure and relational intimacy without having sex prior to formal commitment. Whether one's partner has seen the deed or been told about it or not is irrelevant. In addition to the introspective potential, sexual ecstasy, and familiarity with one's body that masturbation can bring, a much more practical benefit is the management of sexual feelings in certain circumstances. This can help release sexual energy when needed or desired.
Now, the moral permissibility of premarital sex in some circumstances on a truly Biblical worldview, in contrast to the idiotic legalism that has been blindly passed down as an evangelical tradition, is ultimately not connected to the moral permissibility of masturbation in a direct sense. Both actions are Biblically nonsinful because they do not contradict God's moral nature (1 John 3:4, Romans 7:7, and the aforementioned Deuteronomy 4:2 are all relevant to this). No amount of practical or personal benefit from them, such as how masturbation with or without sensual imagery might make it easier to focus on other parts of dating, is the reason why something is or is not sinful. Self-pleasuring involving or not involving sensual stimuli of the mind or senses is Biblically valid in itself.
[1]. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2019/10/premarital-affection.html
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