Stopping Short Of Premarital Sex

That premarital sex is not inherently sinful does not mean that premarital sex without sincere consideration of the relationship's future.  Recognizing that the Bible does not oppose all sex outside of legal marriage can be freeing, and no one needs to fear that all sexual contact between dating partners must result in intercourse.  Since it would not be sinful to enjoy sexual acts other than intercourse with a dating partner even if premarital sex was universally sinful, there is no need for fear of failing to refrain from all interpersonal sexual interaction, but there is also no need to fear a true inability to control oneself, even at the very line between premarital sex and other sexual acts.

Every man and woman has the ability to stop themselves from going further than any given point when engaging in sensual or sexual.  Not only does gender have nothing to do with a person's sex drive and personality traits, but sexuality is not an enslaving force that robs people of rationality, volition, and other priorities besides enjoying sexual pleasure.  It can be managed and accepted at every point without loving pleasure more than reason and stability.  In no case does sexual attraction or curiosity override a person and reduce them to nothing but a seeker of sexual gratification.

In light of this, no Christian couple needs to fret about wanting to engage in acts like mutual masturbation, sexual touching, or oral sex--or, while physically expressing their sexualities with each other, about wondering they will be capable of stopping themselves from having actual sex before they have mutually decided to permanently commit to each other, short of either party committing adultery or abusing the other.  Each member of a couple can exercise whatever self-control is necessary to prevent mental longings from leading to physical actions when the relationship is not at the point where both parties are ready for formal commitment.

The desire for sexual intimacy, catharsis, and pleasure can be quite strong and steady in the lives of those who are not asexuals.  For some, the presence of sexual impulses may be a personal challenge to handle, yet it does not have to be perceived as an frustrating annoyance that leaves no time to indulge in its delights.  Everyone can at least become more familiar with the fact that sexuality does not displace rationality and volition and take precedence over other psychological and behavioral characteristics.  Christians in particular contradict their own worldviews (or at least the worldview described in the Bible) when they insist otherwise.

Sexuality is not an obstacle to a comfortable or moral life, after all!  Dedicated couples can peacefully experience the joys of sexually expressing themselves in a physical manner while never crossing any particular line they mutually share.  Sexual pleasure is something to be embraced by Christians where it does not violate God's specific moral prescriptions.  It can be embraced, moreover, with security in awareness of personal autonomy: Christians can come to a place of deep familiarity with the fact that sexuality, despite its great capacity for providing and experiencing pleasure, is not an uncontrollable cauldron of sin.