Discussing Sexuality With Opposite Gender Friends

As opposite gender friendships have become more common, it has also become more socially "normal" for men and women who are not married, dating, or interested in romantic relationships to discuss everything from personal trials to emotional secrets.  Despite this, even some who admit that men and women can enjoy deep platonic intimacy might recoil at the thought of male and female friends sharing details about their individual sexualities with each other.  Opposite gender friendships have lost some of the stigma associated with them, but direct talk about the depths of sexuality often still makes people uncomfortable.

Platonic male and female friends are fully capable of discussing and revealing their sexualities to each other without sexual feelings or actions becoming a part of the friendship, of course.  No sexual topic goes too far: sexual triggers, masturbation habits, and attractions to particular individuals do not have to be concealed.  If a man and woman are not attracted to each other in a sexual or romantic way, discussing sexual matters in an intellectual and personal sense will likely not change anything about their feelings for each other.  Nothing about such discussions undermines genuinely platonic relationships.

On the contrary, being able to discuss the ethical, intellectual, and personal aspects of sexuality with genuine friends of the opposite gender is a mark of relational security and strength, not of relational weakness.  Sexuality is a major component of human life, after all, and there is no benefit to hiding it from one's opposite gender friends by default.  That one could hypothetically consult a close friend about anything is part of the nature of friendship itself, and that one could consult a friend of the opposite gender about sexual matters without sexual tension arising is not something that should surprise many people.

Even if two friends of the opposite genders develop sexual feelings for each other, does this mean that they have ceased to regard each other as friends?  Of course not!  Cross-gender friendship can coexist with sexual attraction.  In light of this, it would be pointless to fear discussing sexuality with opposite gender friends even if there was an actual connection between those discussions and the introduction of sexual interest to the friendship.  The presence of sexual attraction does not reduce men and women to a status of non-friendship.

Whether a given individual is comfortable sharing personal information about their sexuality with any other person is a different matter to begin with, but there is nothing about sexual conversations that threatens opposite gender friendships.  Instead, openness, transparency, and sincerity are marks of a thriving friendship, and openness about sexuality is no different.  Honest discussion about one's sexuality is not an impediment to platonic intimacy between men and women.