Legalistic Dating Restrictions

One aspect of the idiocy of legalism is the mere assumption that people intent on committing acts of immorality, sexual or otherwise, cannot find ways to carry them out despite additional restrictions on their behaviors.  Of course, even if legalism was an effective deterrent, it still violates the commands of the Bible itself (Deuteronomy 4:2).  Biblical morality is not rooted in utilitarian principles!  However, legalism has no true power to make someone fulfill their actual obligations to begin with, much less the power to make them even adhere to the non-obligatory, extra-Biblical rules that are nothing but constructs of fallacious traditions.

For example, some Christians try to prohibit dating partners from seeing each other alone or for prolonged periods of time, lest they have premarital sex (not that premarital sex is sinful on its own: noncommittal sex is what Exodus 22:16-17 condemns).  This asinine approach ignores many things, but its subscribers never seem to realize that it, like other forms of legalism, will not even necessarily prevent the outcome it is supposed to avert.  If a couple wants to have sex prior to a formal committment, arbitrarily limiting their time together or alone to, say, an hour or less will not stop them.  After all, it is certainly possible to circumvent many legalistic boundaries.

Legalism does, however, intrinsically interfere with the innocent pursuits of people who have no desire to engage in a given sinful behavior.  It is inevitably motivated by a disdain for nonsinful activities, fear of outcomes that may never happen, or a desire to control others due to personal insecurities.  There is no morally or logically sound motivation for legalism, and thus there is no such thing as a righteous or rational legalist.  At best, legalism only makes someone appear righteous in the superficial perceptions of the ignorant.  Rational people do not judge someone's moral character based on their adherance to traditions or non-obligatory rules; they instead judge someone's character based on their actions and seeming intentions.

Legalism does not accomplish anything positive, but it does often lead to suspicion of those who do not abide by constructs of the church.  How many couples have evangelical Christians suspected of sleeping together without commitment simply because they regularly spend time alone?  Conservative Christians are often quick to make negative assumptions about someone's character when it comes to sexual matters--not that any assumption is ever justified, of course--after observing completely amoral or nonsinful activities.

Sexuality is not all that defines interactions between men and women who harbor romantic or sexual interest in each other, but it is not the inherently dangerous, overpowering thing that conservative Christians (aka, most vocal evangelicals) treat it as.  A man and woman who experience even deep sexual attraction to each other are not fated to have casual sex or merely reduce each other to instruments of sexual pleasure.  Any legalist who thinks that a couple cannot choose to not act on any potential sexual feelings in a sinful way--or that either member of a given couple wants to have casual sex to begin with--is only a misguided fool.