Among the many delusions of Western society sits the idea that all of one's immediate family members always deserve one's affection and commitment, no matter how incorrigible and unworthy of that affection they are. If a person does not choose a relationship--and, short of some unprovable pre-conception consciousness, no one can choose their parents or siblings--they are not obligated to treat that person any differently than they are obligated to treat someone that they do not know. There is no way to even argue against the statements that follow without appeals to the useless subjectivity of conscience or to the arbitrary constructs of tradition.
Not only is a family member whom one did not choose (i.e., a parent or sibling) not owed some special affection by merely existing in a biological relationship with oneself, but the idea that family ties automatically entail an obligation of loyalty is incredibly destructive. Because of this myth, abusive parents and siblings are even able to emotionally manipulate people into remaining in harmful relationships. The abused party feels as if he or she is engaging in some sort of immoral betrayal by turning away from the abusive family member, when there is nothing Biblically wrong with despising or severing such relationships to begin with.
When family members are regarded as people first and only then as family, the aforementioned unhealthy forms of emotional attachment can be avoided entirely. Avoiding unnecessary pain is a helpful consequence of not defaulting to positive attitudes towards parents and siblings simply because they are parents and siblings, but the more foundational issue is the fact that the moral value of general family relations has been dramatically overhyped throughout human history. Reason and Scripture alike confirm this.
When family members are regarded as people first and only then as family, the aforementioned unhealthy forms of emotional attachment can be avoided entirely. Avoiding unnecessary pain is a helpful consequence of not defaulting to positive attitudes towards parents and siblings simply because they are parents and siblings, but the more foundational issue is the fact that the moral value of general family relations has been dramatically overhyped throughout human history. Reason and Scripture alike confirm this.
Like every other human being, a family member whom one did not choose cannot claim that personal affection or commitment is owed to them unless they have first earned it. It does not follow from having a parent or sibling that they deserve unconditional affection by default. Lest conservative Christians, who are known to gratuitously emphasize family, think that the Bible commands that one invest a special degree of effort into relationships with one's parents or siblings, it must also be affirmed that the Bible never prescribes this kind of indiscriminate, blind familial affection.
If a family member is unwilling to live for reason and morality, there is nothing immoral about allowing the relationship to fade or diminish. The only legitimate reason to invest in all members of one's family at all times, regardless of whether that investment is deserved, is mere self-interest. The very Bible that conservatives claim emphasizes family never does so to the extent that they often pretend [1], and many people have suffered false guilt and voluntarily remained in hurtful relationships because of their lies.
[1]. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2018/04/a-lie-about-family.html
If a family member is unwilling to live for reason and morality, there is nothing immoral about allowing the relationship to fade or diminish. The only legitimate reason to invest in all members of one's family at all times, regardless of whether that investment is deserved, is mere self-interest. The very Bible that conservatives claim emphasizes family never does so to the extent that they often pretend [1], and many people have suffered false guilt and voluntarily remained in hurtful relationships because of their lies.
[1]. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2018/04/a-lie-about-family.html
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