Logical truths are objective, so they are not determined by subjective preferences or any amount of consensus. They simply are true in themselves. This by necessity includes truths about romantic partnerships, marriage, and sexuality. Truth is not grounded or revealed democratically. I have heard some people say that a couple can always "define" what cheating is within their relationship, as if cheating could be non-cheating on their whim or vice versa! Things are what they are. Preference or perception is irrelevant in full. A disapproving husband does not make a married woman looking at other shirtless or naked men (or other such men) besides her husband with excitement unfaithful; an upset wife does not make a married man looking at other women in bikinis or lingerie (as if this clothing is only for women) or nude women with excitement unfaithful.
Agreement between a couple that they think flirting with other people or any other irrelevant thing is infidelity does not render it true. Various people might, left to their individual selves or due to the arbitrary pressures of their given social community, have wildly different desires or expectations or personal (i.e. mere conscience or ego-based) objections for the behavior of their spouses. Some people might be genuinely alright with their husband or wife having actual sex with someone else during their marriage, while others might not be bothered by flirtation but be against extramarital sex, while still others might think that even looking at someone else out of sensual or sexual admiration (the two are not the same!) or finding someone else sexy in the privacy of the mind is betrayal.
Logical truth is true no matter how hurtful or inconvenient or unpopular. It does not logically follow from adultery being a marital betrayal that extramarital flirtation, fantasizing about other people (unless one is fantasizing out of the desire to do something adulterous), masturbating to other people of the opposite gender, regularly or not, or just masturbating without any stimulation, is adulterous or a betrayal in any way. Not only would it not follow from one thing being immoral that the rest of these are, but there is absolutely nothing contradictory--in the sense of logical impossibility or conflicted motives--about a woman or man loving their spouse, including sexually, and visually/mentally delighting in the bodies of or flirtatious conversations with other people of the opposite gender.
What one feels about this is subjective. It is all true all the same. Indeed, some people might, again, not be emotionally hurt or opposed to their spouse having extramarital sex--as if their feelings make it valid or immoral to begin with. Biblically, much like murder or theft or a plethora of other actions, adultery is always immoral (Exodus 20:14) no matter whether a husband or wife is fine with or even encouraging of their spouse having sex with another person--not an additional spouse in the form of sex within a polyamorous marriage, but extramarital sex. Yes, it also obviously goes both ways for men and women despite the occasionally specific phrasing of "another man's wife" (Genesis 1:26-27, Exodus 20:14, Malachi 2:13-15), which itself is an absolutely idiotic basis for believing in a misogynistic interpretation [1]. The Bible does not pretend like the other aforementioned things are adulterous (Deuteronomy 4:2).
It is not the spouse who has not done anything adulterous who needs to change for their insecure, jealous, or emotionalistic partner. It is the insecure or perhaps irrational partner who needs to change or be silent. Just as emotion and agreement do not make adultery any less of a betrayal even if it is voluntarily encouraged by the other spouse if something like the Biblical stance is true, no amount of rage will make it so that extramarital flirtation or masturbation to other people alone is in any way adultery. There is not necessarily any betrayal of any kind there because there is, first of all, no adultery in any of this on its own and, secondly, because these things can be done without infringing upon a thriving sexual relationship between spouses.
No comments:
Post a Comment