Expressing Love Through Sexuality

Interpersonal sexual acts do not have to be cruel or selfish to be unloving; they can simply be aimless, shallow, or neutral and in this way still fall short of a legitimately affectionate, wholehearted bond.  The potential for sexuality to deepen and convey a connection that binds people together is not something that will automatically be utilized.  People must make this a characteristic of their relationship.  Though two people might be so intellectually and emotionally invested in their relationship that they do not need to put any particular effort into this kind of sexual bond--it just naturally proceeds from them--effort must certainly be made initially to become this kind of person before a couple comes together.

It is possible for sexual acts between partners to be more than pleasurable or exciting, yes.  They can be catalysts for deeper intimacy, reflections of a closeness that is already there on the level of the intellect and emotions and the will, and introspective stimulations for overwhelmingly positive (in a moral and personal sense) experiences of broader kinds.  Like spending money, giving gifts, and offering verbal praises, sexual expression can be used as a hollow substitute for genuine love if it is empty, but it is logically possible for it to convey an incredible spectrum and intensity of mutual, sincere attachment to a committed partner.

Whether sexuality expresses love or joy or kindness is determined by the actions and intentions of a given person.  In no way is sexuality either dehumanizing or affectionate by default.  People who think that the capacity for sexual attraction, desire, and activity is one of these or the other in itself have embraced an impossibility; sexuality can be neutral or even positive until used in specific ways, but it is not something that requires any sort of selfishness, hedonism, or emotionalism on one hand or any sort of selflessness, introspective clarity, or existential reflection and enjoyment on the other hand.

Only with the latter is sexuality experienced in the deepest and fullest ways, and when a committed couple enjoys sexual intimacy, each of them approaching the relationship with the correct worldview, with loving intentions, and with a willingness to sustain or tighten their bonding, the experience of interpersonal sexuality is elevated immensely.  There is self-awareness on both sides, there is joy, there is excitement, and there is safety of a physical and psychological kind.  The pleasure of sexuality is subsumed or eclipsed by the pleasure of unity with a close partner whom one shares ideological correctness and thriving emotional ties.  In this context, sexuality expresses genuine love.