Friendship, Sexism, And Racism

People can have friends of the opposite gender and still be sexist, believing in the errors of stereotypes or encouraging the constructs of gender roles.  The same is true of racism.  Friends can even deeply love each other and still either regard their friends as "exceptions" to stereotypes that are actually philosophically false or as affirmations of stereotypes (which are automatically invalid either way because gender and skin color are not psychological traits).  However, a genuine friendship is quite possibly the most likely thing to change someone's worldview on the matter if they are unwilling to look to reason directly and instead drag their intellectual feet until experiences subjectively persuade them to accept some element of the truth.  Rationalistic proof has no need for specific social examples in refuting the foundations of sexism and racism, but these examples can be powerful.

Engaging in authentic friendship brings opportunities for a person to show themselves as they are, not as family, church, workplace, or broader cultural pressures might encourage them to be.  It has a unique experiential power to possibly bring a sexist or racist person to wonder why they ever would think that someone else's genitalia or skin color dictates or suggests certain mental traits.  At the heart of friendship is a bond between two individuals, people who, if they are genuine, do not want to make assumptions about their friends.  For all the correct talk about how being friends with someone of a different race does not mean a person is not racist in other ways (and logical extrapolation means the same could be true of opposite gender friendships and sexism), a degree of racism is already excluded in this.  A fully racist (or sexist) person would not even entertain the possibility of friendship outside of certain groups!

Someone who has genuine friends of the opposite gender or other races, if they are sexist or racist in some way, is at least not as sexist or as racist as they could be, or else they would not even think that someone of the other gender or a different skin color could be worthy of friendship.  They would think a person of the opposite gender or another race beneath them to the point that even basic friendship is impossible, dangerous, or pointless.  In this sense, even a woman who thinks a male friend cannot be sexually abused because of his gender, a man who thinks a female friend is unlikely to make a strong leader because of her gender, and a white person who thinks a black friend has a lesser intellect because of their skin color have already recognized and acted upon some truths of gender and racial egalitarianism.  Their comprehension and motives are incomplete, certainly, and yet they are not fully sexist or racist.

Friendship is a great experiential way to celebrate the logical truths that gender and race are just features of the body that have nothing to do with personality, talents, moral character, and rationality.  Yes, friendship between men and women or people of different races is not a guarantee that there is no sexism or racism in either party's worldview, but it does at least exclude a certain extent of sexism or racism.  This is partly why there is a need for many strong friendships between men and women and people of different skin colors.  Even if the process is slow due to philosophical apathy, assumptions, and irrationalistic biases, there is the possibility that someone who is sexist or racist will come to see their ideas as contrary to reality and even mourn that they once embraced such errors.  Those who are willing to put up with being misunderstood for a time might be an instrument that brings a dawning of rationality (at least in this area) in the lives of certain friends.