Thursday, March 3, 2022

Finding An Egalitarian Christian Dating Partner

Finding an egalitarian dating partner can be extremely difficult thanks to the popularity of complementarian heresies within the church, and finding a partner who is egalitarian because of rationalistic and Biblical reasons instead of cultural trends (though much of American culture is still misandrist and misogynistic) is even more challenging.  Finding a partner who is consistently, thoroughly devoted to truth in all aspects of philosophy and life, beyond even just egalitarianism or Christianity, is more difficult still: insincerity, emotionalism, and apathy stop most people from ever progressing past a handful of true, verifiable ideas.  The egalitarian Christian searching for a romantic partner to deeply bond with might spend years searching without running into a compatible person or even finding a seemingly promising candidate.

Since true egalitarians (as opposed to hypocrites who identify with the title), much less Christian egalitarians and rationalistic Christian egalitarians, are so rare, finding one who is a compatible dating partner is a treasure of a find.  It is possible to find them randomly at unexpected times or places, just as it is possible to find intellectually and spiritually mature friends randomly, genuine friends also being treasures that can be discovered unexpectedly.  Possibility just does not make something likely.  It will still likely be very difficult to find such dating partners (or friends) or be able to easily identify them until spontaneous conversations unfold.  Church is not a guaranteed place to find anyone worthy of friendship or romantic interest; meeting someone in a church is in no way an indicator that they are a rational, philosophically competent, or Biblically righteous person.

This rarity of quality people can drive even someone largely contented with reason, God, and self-awareness to desperation.  Not even having close, fulfilling friendships with women or men will necessarily extinguish the desire for the type of relationship one has with a dating or marriage partner.  Moreover, there is more to this kind of longing than just a hope for sexual satisfaction.  The desire to have romantic partnership easily transcends a mere desire to carry out sexual acts with a partner, as it, when taken to its logical conclusion, involves an intellectual, emotional, and spiritual connection that heightens or spills over into a physical connection.  An egalitarian, rationalistic Christian has far more to bond with a partner over, yet it is far more difficult to find a true match.

This is not to say that egalitarians--or rationalists and Christians--should settle for lesser relationships by hiding their true individualistic selves or forsaking the rigid but inescapable truths of rationalism, with reason refuting the gender stereotypes that ravage relationships and societies in full.  Rationalism and true Christianity both lead to egalitarianism.  With or without Christianity being true, to fight egalitarianism is to fight the truths of individualism and to be open for sacrificing mutuality, consistency, and open expression of self-awareness for the sake of an inferior partnership that is a shackle more than anything else.  The present difficulty in finding fellow egalitarian Christians for friendship or dating is rooted in a failure of the church and broader American culture to avoid making assumptions and more highly prioritize rationality, truth, and the deepest kinds of intimacy as fellow humans and Christians.

A relationship not built on mutual affirmation of rationalism and the intimacy of shared openness is a relationship that at best is shallow and undeserving of attention.  Egalitarianism has a clear connection to both.  Reason disproves gender stereotypes, and gender stereotypes inevitably obscure the true self of anyone who does not by sheer happenstance have their personalities match the supposed "masculine" or "feminine" traits that no one is Biblically obligated or rationalistically fated to have.  True intimacy requires openness in individuality.  The deepest kind of intimacy requires a shared worldview that is embraced independently on both sides for the sake of truth itself.  Since egalitarianism is something that can be philosophically proven and that has profound ramifications for life, no genuine egalitarian will trivialize this (or the philosophical truths egalitarianism stands on) while searching for a dating partner.

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