There is no such thing as sexism towards one gender that does not also entail sexism towards the other gender at the same time. We hear much about the historic and contemporary sexism that has been directed towards women, but what of the sexism that has been systematically directed towards men? Complementarianism of both a religious and secular kind injures men deeply on many levels, hurting both individual men and the collective reputation that men in general have all at the same time. On one hand, complementarians will often straw man feminist concepts as being sexist towards men, even though misandry is not actual feminism, and minimal intelligence is required to discover this; on the other hand, they will actively perpetuate myths, gender roles, and social norms that have a grievous effect on men.
Among these myths and norms are things that disregard men's emotions. When men are encouraged, if not outright demanded, to suppress basic emotions and act as if they cannot be sensitive, empathetic, or sad, they are shunned or belittled by various complementarians when they fail to do so. The reactions might go so far as to deny that the men in question are "true men," when a person's biological status and that alone dictates if a person is a "true man" or a "true woman." Arbitrary societal expectations have nothing to do with whether a person is a man. Because some men wish to avoid mockery for not having the personalities or behavioral traits expected of them by religious and secular complementarianism, they might simply keep silent about their struggles and emotional wounds. These expectations are (at least in part) at the root of everything from the denial that women can sexually abuse men [1] to the asinine belief that men don't cry. At the heart of these myths, as well as others, is a trivialization of male pain. That these injustices have endured even into a more egalitarian America reveals how deep the stupidity of complementarian can grow.
Another area where complementarianism hurts men concerns leadership, which is very ironic, considering that complementarianism elevates male leadership! Just as women have been historically kept away from leadership positions regardless of their individual abilities, men have been expected to assume the role of leader in the domestic, corporate, and social spheres. Numerous men have likely been pressured into conforming to cultural ideas that thrust them into different forms of leadership, even when they did not have conducive personalities or the desire to be in such positions. These arrangements could hurt a person very deeply, since he must pretend to be something he is not. It is probable that many men have suffered from having roles forced upon them even if they are not personally qualified or eager for them. Furthermore, it is not entirely uncommon to see men mocked if they submit to a female leader in certain ways. There is a deep unease and outrage among complementarians at a man willingly following a woman.
A third arena of sexism against men is almost anything pertaining to sexuality. Men are widely expected to behave like sexual deviants, and so those of a complementarian mindset are almost surprised when a man never once commits or wishes to commit an act of sexual immorality. Men are even viewed with suspicion or hostility for expressing their sexuality in completely permissible ways. Accompanying the heinously irrational, sexist, and unbiblical idea that men are hopelessly fixated on sex is the idea that women are passive sexual creatures that do not tend to have deep, powerful sexual impulses of their own. Wherever one is found, the other is not far away: the sexist ideology that regards women as asexual or demisexual beings that must be guarded from male aggression also regards men as if they are hypersexual beings practically on the brink of raping or seducing almost any woman they encounter. This, as is immediately apparent to actual thinkers, is thoroughly damaging to men.
The influence of modern complementarianism must be abolished if men, as well as women, are to truly be allowed to flourish in individualistic fashion. Complementarians, especially Christian complementarians, who condemn egalitarianism/feminism as sexist towards men are often guilty of the very thing they falsely imagine feminists to practice, since they are prone to treat men who challenge or do not fit into their fallacious gender roles horribly. For instance, a man who stays at home while his wife works would likely receive harsh ridicule and opposition for doing something that the Bible is not against in any way (Deuteronomy 4:2)--Proverbs 31 even gives an example of a similar scenario, and is often ignored by complementarians as a result. Of course, if the genders were reversed, there would be no uproar from them. Hypocrisies like this expose complementarians as the deluded sexists that they are. Complementarian sexism is a poison to men and women alike, and both reason and Scripture reject the whole of it.
[1]. See here:
A. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2018/06/when-women-rape-men.html
B. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2018/09/an-erection-is-not-consent.html
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