"When you fight a Cimmerian, even a boy, you best kill him."
--Conan, Conan the Barbarian
Before Jason Momoa was Aquaman, he was Conan the Barbarian, and what a poorly crafted film his one and only appearance as the character turned out to be--though the irony of the Cimmerian Barbarians being descended from Atlanteans is great indeed in light of how the same actor eventually played the Justice League's Atlantean. With an imbecile of a main character, laziness in execution, and a major lack of quality performances, save for few exceptions, Conan the Barbarian had much more potential than the completed film actualizes. Elements like the seemingly living Mask of Acheron or the cruelty and sexism of Conan despite him being the protagonist could have been utilized so much more potently than they are in this squandering of lore that is actually fairly expansive. Jason Momoa has the capacity for more than what this opportunity showcased, even if he tends to be a very hit or miss actor.
Production Values
To the film's credit, there is no constant reliance on obvious CGI, but between the rapid cuts in fight sequences and the mostly lackluster acting and characterization, this in no way saves the movie. Jason Momoa is much better as Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones and Aquaman in Zack Snyder's Justice League than he is here. Either he had yet to develop as an actor or he was not directed competently, but since the first season of Game of Thrones in which he is a primary character came out in 2011 as did Conan, and Kal Drogo is likewise from the fantasy genre, it seems by all evidence in the film itself to be the latter. Outclassed by Stephen Lang as the villain Khalar Zym in the movie based on his own character, Momoa does not come close to his best performances yet despite having the lead role. Stephen Lang can be a great actor (Don't Breathe, Gettysburg), and though this is far from his best examples of talent, it is he and, ironically, Game of Thrones actor (another one besides Momoa) Nonso Anozi who clearly rise above the entire remainder of the cast. Rachel Nichols as Tamara and Rose McGowan as the witch Marique fall between them and Momoa, but they at least make more of their characters than the main character amounts to.
Story
Some spoilers are below.
A tyrant named Khalar Zym whose daughter has powers of sorcery seeks out the only missing fragment of a mask created by past sorcerers, which he hopes to use in the resurrection of his sorceress wife. Barbarian tribes had taken separate parts of the fractured mask, which Khalar Zym has already regained for the most part by the time Conan is old enough to start training as a warrior. Zym does not ensure Conan dies when the village is raided for the piece, and when Conan reaches adulthood, he hunts the warlord as a pureblood descendant of the sorcerers who created the mask is herself hunted for use in the resurrection ritual.
Intellectual Content
Each time that Conan brings up or teases something deeper than its unnecesarily simplistic story, it is discarded or very minimally integrated into the film. Tamara realizes that she is not the property of men just because she is a woman, but not only are the actual reasons why this would be true never even briefly mentioned, but she ends up becoming romantically attached to Conan despite him belittling her as a woman earlier. Zym at first seems to want his wife to return from the dead out of love, but after someone tells him he only wants power, he frequently speaks of how indomitable he will become once his wife Maliva is resurrected. The complexity of this is developed to the bare minimum extent necessary to move the plot forward. Conan himself admits to not caring about existential and theological matters because he is content to just slay and love, an utter emotionalistic fool presented as a hero to look up to. The film could have explored this egoistic apathy towards anything deeper than subjective contentment and the arbitrary moral system Conan ties to it with a statement made by Zym that the Cimmerians "do not pray," worshipping weaponry instead of any supposed gods, though Conan never outright denies their existence. His worldview is that of the same assumptions and random beliefs simultaneously held to unexamined. In this regard, Conan is much more like the typical non-rationalist, and is indeed much more openly honest about it.
Conclusion
A better general cast or better directing would have accomplished a lot for this movie, which at times hints at its potential and at times does very little to suggest that almost any effort was invested into it at all. It is no surprise that Stephen Lang is the standout, but when even he is held back, Conan struggles under the weight of its awful or mediocre aspects. A much better movie could have been forged from the lore and promise of this world, one with greater emphasis on character development and the worldviews that drive the characters, on stronger performances, and on at least planting the seeds for broader lore. Very little can be done to salvage a movie with this kind of acting and superficiality. At least Lang elevates many of his scenes, as Rachel Nichols does in some ways, but he is one cast member out of many and has limited screentime compared to Momoa and his very lifeless performance.
Content:
1. Violence: Sword slashes, impalings, and blows with fists often involve blood with each strike, but the bursts are brief and have a somewhat strange coloring. There are scenes of torture as well, though these are portrayed with less blood.
2. Profanity: "Shit" is used.
3. Nudity: Conan is seen naked from behind, and several women have their breasts exposed in other scenes, though this is of course not actual nudity.
4. Sexuality: Conan and Tamara have sex onscreen in one scene.
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