Anyone who has ever looked at a friend of the opposite gender and understood why someone else might find them to be sexy without having any sexual feelings for them has experienced something that is, on one level paradoxical. Even finding an opposite gender friend physically attractive is not the same as realizing why they might be seen as sexy, and understanding why others of one's same gender might have sexual feelings for an opposite gender friend is not the same as directly regarding them as sexy. Moreover, if the relationship is one of mutual comfort and openness, it is not strange to mention this phenomenon.
Sexiness is not a property of a person, after all, but a quality that exists only in someone's perception. Different people have varying, subjective perceptions of what is sexy, all of which reduce down to personal triggers of sexual excitement, attraction, or arousal. Seeing why someone else might find a person of the opposite gender genuinely sexy is therefore different from feeling that way oneself. This is comparable to recognizing the merits of a job without wanting to take the job or praising the smell of a pleasant dish without feeling hunger. Of course, sexual attraction does not actually mean that one wants to have sex with someone; it only means that one person experiences sexual feelings for another. Even so, recognition of the way someone might be the focus of others' sexual attraction is distinct from feeling sexual attraction towards them.
A failure to distinguish between the natures of these two mental states, or perhaps a sense of embarrassment that comes from being social pressured to not openly discuss sexuality and sexiness with opposite gender friends, has likely stopped many people from making encouraging comments to friends of the opposite gender about their potential sexiness (or about them when they are not around). A rational, relaxed approach to basic sexuality can let people feel confident enough to sincerely complement friends of the opposite gender with platonic motives, even if the complement draws attention to specific physical or psychological features of the friends that might sexually excite others of one's own gender.
Beauty, aesthetic attraction, and sexiness are all different, but each one can be actively celebrated without discomfort in a friendship between a man and a woman. Friendship does not mean that men and women do not find each other physically attractive, just as friendship does not mean that men and women cannot discuss each other's sex appeal without fear of thinking that all of their opposite gender friends are sexually attracted to them. Even if certain opposite gender friends are sexually attracted to each other, a sexual attraction does not exclude a bond of affection [1]. Whether or not sexual attraction is present, noting how and why a friend of the opposite gender is perceived as sexy by other members of one's gender is not something that must be suppressed.
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