It seems to me that complementarianism, though not an ideology that directly demands fear of the opposite gender, often naturally fosters a sense of disunity and distrust between the two genders. The results of this unease can include segregation of the genders during activities like Bible studies, frowning upon authentic friendships between men and women, belief in societal gender stereotypes that hurt relationships of all kinds, and the ignoring of gender interaction issues that can plague the American evangelical church.
Fear of the opposite gender may not be an explicit tenet of complementarianism, but it certainly has a noticeable correlation to beliefs of complementarianism. I am not straw manning complementarian theology or saying that these observations themselves refute complementarianism (though I have refuted it elsewhere [1]); I am just noting something I have repeatably detected in many of my interactions with complementarians. Complementarianism's emphasis on alleged non-biological differences between men and women often manifests itself through anxiety, insecurity, distrust, and suspicion. These fears seem natural byproducts of the lifestyles many complementarians pursue. It is, in my experience, for example, almost exclusively complementarians who devise absurd legalistic principles like the Billy Graham rule [2] that directly suffocate non-marital relationships between men and women and prevent many from deepening. Whereas egalitarians often have comfort and peace with the opposite gender, complementarians do not.
I have realized for some time now that Christians, if operating according to the core principles of their own worldview in its actual form, should be the group most eager to promote reconciliation of the genders, to criticize barriers that separate men and women socially and relationally, and to find comfort in the wholeness of the family of God. I have embraced these goals wholeheartedly, yet I cannot rely on many Christians to do the same. Fear and insecurity abound where there could be peace and security. Truly, this fear proves far more dangerous to the health of the church and of individuals than the challenging of traditional beliefs ever could--and this fear is irrational, destructive, hindering, gratuitous, vile, and unbiblical.
My rationalism, Christianity, and personality have fortunately made it easy for me to reject the fear of the other gender so often bred by complementarian practice. For instance, I am a major supporter of deep cross-gender friendships [3], and the ramifications of my worldview in this area are not subtle or obscure. I hug my female friends because I love them. I freely hang out with them alone because I don't fear them. I text them because that's what I do with my friends. And I don't give a shit about the mistaken perceptions or insecurities of other people, the subjective emotions I might upset in doing these things, or the bubbles of ignorance around me that I pop as I continue these activities. I will not live in fear of asinine nonsense; I will not neglect to strive to improve relations between men and women in the church; I will not endorse any construct that hinders the genuine fellowship and growth that men and women should share. I truly hope that during my lifetime the American church will see the removal of fear from cross-gender interactions within the church--may that day arrive soon!
[1]. http://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/02/why-ephesians-5-does-not-teach-rigid.html
[2]. https://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-poisonous-offspring-of.html
[3]. http://thechristianrationalist.blogspot.com/2016/08/opposite-gender-friendships-part-1.html
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