Vulnerability In Relationships

Human relationships start and continue with some level of vulnerability.  While deep intimacy can be achieved despite the metaphysical and epistemological separation of minds, especially at first, there is no guarantee that someone will respond to openness or cordiality by reciprocating.  The more two people spend time together and share their worldviews and personalities, the more they know what they can of each other, again in spite of the gulf between minds that prevents one from gazing into the thoughts of one another.  Still, there is vulnerability here in that a non-telepathic being does not know how even a lifelong companion will speak or act in the following moments.

It is the beginning of a relationship, be it romantic or platonic, where this is more easily apparent, however.  If two people meet by chance and begin to converse or observe each other, there is not even a set of memories, as inaccurate as memory might be (all one can know just from having memories is that the memories exist and that they seem accurate), to serve as evidence of this person's probable motives and behaviors.  For each word and gesture, there is not only the possibility that one person will be rejected or disliked by the other without cause, something that persists as long as the relationship continues, but there is also a lack of recalled past interactions to suggest what their reactions will be.

I cannot read anyone's mind.  I thus cannot know if they will or will not respond in a belittling, dismissive way if I open myself up to them.  There is always vulnerability in relationships between beings with this limitation, but the risks of vulnerability and the logical possibility that someone will not respect you do not mean that strong relationships cannot be cultivated.  Nor do these facts mean that it is likely that a new person will automatically be hostile, cold, or uninterested.  Again and again, as two people deepen in a platonic or romantic relationship, there will still be vulnerability as more of their selves is shared, and then there is still vulnerability in the most relaxed, mutual, wholehearted of relationships.

The possibility remains that even the most emotionally cherished and ideologically strong relationships could suffer if one party was to suddenly change.  This is a risk that, once again, is inevitable in friendships or romantic partnerships as long as human epistemological limitations endure, which are themselves rooted in metaphysical limitations.  It is still easier for many people to notice the vulnerability in initially forming relationships and the interactions that immediately follow.  Vulnerability might be frightening in some cases, but without it, there could be no human relationships, including those of the greatest kind.  If only someone is willing to show vulnerability at first, someone else might reciprocate, and a life-giving relationship can follow.